This Is The Part Where Nia Dies
by ElfCollaborator
Summary: Nia is supposed to die. Nobody likes this and starts complaining. Hilarity ensues. Crack, spoilers for the entire series, oneshot, rated T for sexuality and insanity, parody of the series ending. First TTGL fanfic.


**This Is The Part Where Nia Dies**

**A/N: Good day, ladies and gents! Welcome to my first foray into the small world of Gurren Lagann fanfic! Now, as it may have done to a lot of you, Nia's death REALLY pissed me off. I mean, seriously, she deserved a happy ending- y'know, being tossed out to die by her evil overlord father, having to kill said evil overlord father after being kidnapped by two of his servants, getting kidnapped again by the Anti-Spiral, brainwashed, and you know the rest. As you can imagine, it's just not right that she lost out on happily wedded life, in my opinion.**

**So, I plan on altering that with crack and humour. Anyone who's ever read any of my previous fics (not many, RWBY isn't really a fandom that intersects with Gurren Lagann's) knows where this is going. Without further ado, fanfic time!**

**DISCLAIMER: Gurren Lagann belongs to Studio Gainax, otherwise this fic would be canon.**

* * *

And so, after all was said and done, after the Anti-Spiral finally fell and the universe saved, and Nia finally reunited with Simon...it was time.

On a bright, sunlit day, with the remaining members of Team Dai-Gurren in attendance, Rossiu presiding over it, with the vivid leaves of cherry blossoms billowing in the sky above, Simon waited under the roof of a finely built marble gazebo. He was dressed in a bespoke, plain white suit- fitting for the occasion, and of the man wearing it.

He couldn't help but smile as he saw his wife-to-be walk down the path to the gazebo. Nia was wearing a white gown and veil, so fine and well-tailored as if it came out of a fairy tale picture book, and her expression was serene as she walked down the path, surrounded by the cheering and clapping of her friends- Yoko most especially. She'd known them all long enough, and she was happiest for Simon.

None save the couple-to-be, of course, were aware of the misfortune about to befall them.

So the ceremony went on, vows were uttered and promises were made. Nia and Simon promised eternity to each other, to love with unwavering and unconditional heart, to love through thick and thin, through life and death...

Eventually, Rossiu stepped back. At this point, it was obvious to all what was going to happen.

The couple, with tearful eyes, full of with joy, kissed. Team Dai-Gurren exploded in rapturous applause, happy for them, Yoko, ever the sharp-eyed one, however, caught something. Her breath caught in her throat, and her expression turned to surprise.

Slowly, from behind, Nia was fading into data bits of assorted colors. Yoko, being unaware that they already knew, called out to them.

"Nia!"

"Huh?" The girl turned to Yoko, looking at her innocently. The data bits seemed to stop expanding and vanished, leaving only a small gap in Nia's dress.

"You're...kinda disappearing into data bits..."

"Oh. Uh...wait, I am?" Nia craned her head behind herself, looking to her husband, who nodded.

"Yeah. " The leader of Team Dai-Gurren whipped out a script from his pocket. "Yeah, it says I end up wandering the e-hang on, what kind of stupid script is this?!"

Kiyoh raised her own script. "Yeah, it says Nia lives in mine!"

"And mine!"

"Mine too!"

"Huh?" Nia looked around, confused, rooting around for a pocket before realising that her dress contained none. "I-I wasn't told I was dying in this part..."  
"Neither was I!" Yoko, looking at her own script, sighed. "What kind of idiot wrote this?"  
"This is a crap ending!" Simon complained at Rossiu, who looked at the book in his hand. "...that's weird...even MINE says Nia lives..."  
"Yeah, that's bullshit!" Suddenly, a hooded man revealed himself from the crowd and Kittan stepped forwards, much to the shock of everyone.

All the Black Siblings stared at him in disbelief. "Y-you survived?!"

"Well, no. But my death was absolute bullshit!" The man complained. "Why can't I end up with Yoko?! Or for that matter, why the hell does HE get to be all remembered?!" He pointed his thumb at the space next to him, where another hooded man revealed himself.  
"What are you complaining about?" Kamina stepped out next to him. "I had her first! I came UP with the team for Anno's sake!"  
Yoko stared at him. "...you didn't die either?"  
"Nah. I died. I got bored of death."  
"I just found death was stupid." Kittan shrugged casually. "And so was this crappy story."

"Huh..." The red-headed sniper was now absolutely confused.

"What kind of stupid ending is this?!" Simon complained. "Really? Who wrote this terrible script?"

"He has a point." Viral stepped out of the crowd, looking irritated. "I mean, you two have had crappier lives than everyone and finally, when you two get married, Nia dies?!"  
"It seems so..." Nia nodded sadly. "...i-in my opinion, this ending is...not the best...and I don't really want to die. If I may...

...it's a pretty stupid ending. Why do I have to die?"  
"Yeah, who wrote this shit?!" Kittan protested.

"I did." Suddenly, everyone turned to their right to see the Anti-Spiral, dressed in a scarf and a director's beret, with a cigar where his mouth would be, sighing.

"Yes, this script was my masterpiece...to throw our brave protagonist Simon a rope and to finally take it away...even after victory, he still loses!" The gestalt creature declared melodramatically, in a manner unfitting of the entity that tried to send all in attendance into complete despair barely a week ago. "Think about it! Simon loses everything- his parents, his big bro, all of Team Dai-Gurren...and now his beloved Nia...it's the perfect ending to such a story!"

"Uh...who the hell is THIS joker?" Kamina asked, scoffing. "He sounds like a total tool!"  
"The Anti-Spiral King?!" Viral glared at him. "I thought Simon KILLED you!"  
"No, incorrect. I am the Director. The Scriptwriter." The creature rubbed his non-existent temples. "Honestly, I'd think you'd already know this...just have the full script already." He whipped out a book labelled 'Gurren Lagann by The Anti-Spiral Director', handing it to Simon. The man flipped through it with Nia, trying to find the part they were at, until...

"Wait, so, hang on." Simon held up a finger. "So...YOU wrote this crappy script where Nia dies, I..." He flipped through it again. "...turn into a hobo, Yoko never gets hitched and grows into an old woman-"  
The red-headed sniper's eyes widened. "WHAT?!"

"-Gimmy and Darry get Gurren Lagann-"  
The siblings turned to each other, fistbumping. "Sweet!"  
"-Nia stays dead, and we're all forgotten?"

"Yes." The Anti-Spiral nodded. "I thought that was obvious."

"That is complete crap!" Kamina declared. "So YOU wrote in MY death?!"  
"And mine?" Kittan turned on the director as well.

"And ours?" The Four Generals also showed up in spirit form.

"Eh." Lordgenome was in the background, several Beastmen and human women – and one man- fawning over his pure manliness, shrugged. "I decided I wanted to take a break, so I let Simon kill me."

"So...you essentially killed off Nia, right?" Simon's gaze suddenly turned cold. Even his wife stepped away from him in fear.

"Yes, of course! I couldn't let such a legendary story end with no..." The Anti-Spiral turned around, as Kittan, Kamina, the rest of Team Dai-Gurren, the Four Generals and Rossiu all rounded on him with Simon. Even Nia was joining in.

"You wrote this shitty story!"  
"Yeah, and you nearly made this end badly!"  
"Kick his ass!"  
"Make him pay for this!"

"Let us demonstrate our displeasure with this pissing-off person!"

"...I hate my life." The Anti-Spiral sighed, resigned to his fate as everyone closed in on him...

* * *

And so, everyone lived happily ever after.

Kittan, Kamina and Yoko made sweet love that night. As always. They eventually went out to the island Yoko taught at, and taught them for the rest of their days.

Simon and Nia had seven kids and lived happily ever after. As they should have.

Gimmy and Darry ended up inheriting Gurren Lagann.

Attenborough blew something up.

The Four Generals started up a metal band. Their first album went double platinum. Lordgenome became their lead vocalist.

And the Anti-Spiral was found shoved into a bin with this beret vandalized and his scripts shoved in the bin with him. He retired from directing and went into motivational speaking.

Obviously, he failed.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N:...yeah, I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that. I honestly don't, and I regret that now. Oh well.**

**So...yeah, that was a thing, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your reviews, comments, ideas, suggestions and thoughts, and I hope you have a great day!**


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